my friends dnt get me...

everytime i talk about something they have the face of wen u smell garbage on mondays... they just overlook me wen i say wats on my mind... dude if i say sumthin and its wierd dnt dismiss it talk about it force me to talk about it but instead they just go on to the next topic... its mean. lik i was saying how i had multiple thoughts of suicide over the past week and they're lik uhmmm ok wtf uhm anyway. im lik yo ur not gonna ax y o nice friendship peple. so after i explained y they're lik oo im srry i hope u feel better and im lik well they r just thoughts/ attemps. i think to attemp suicide and fail means that u urself are a failure. u tried sumthing to make u happy and then baq'd out or cudnt do it u suq. yea yea i no wat about me... well i feel the same way about myself im a failure but only i no it. no1 else does cuz ill end up getting dirtier looks then i already get. so many opritunities to kill so many peple that i didnt kill them i think i am a failure for aswell. o u wud of went to jail bla bla bla i dnt care i wud have kill'd them and then i wud be happy. very very very happy. i want to kill my sister but i cnt cuz then the boy i lik wnt lik me. who liks a murderer? lik really? i guess it sounds selfish the only reason my sister isnt dead is cuz i wanna look gud for this random boy i lik but its mor then that i think i love him and i want to be with him. this ofcorse will never happen but i lik thinking it will. hes the thought that sets me at ease i guess thats another reason y i love him.. I'm Yours by Jason Mraz is the song i dedicaded to him <3 iLy M...